LOCKY82
Regular
Haha, I'd love to see what bullshit they send out and who it's actually coming from though
AVZ Discussion 2022
- Thread starter GazDix
- Start date
Frank
Top 20
My gut is talking me and my plums are tingling.......it is saying an announcement from AVZ coming soon, within a fortnight.............But both have been wrong many many many times before. Or maybe hope is talking to me.......now I am getting confused.
Either way I have moved the Drambuie bottle from the top shelf to the bench top in readiness ........
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Remark
Top 20
Ok, a little bit late for Friday Funnies but this is a true story that needs to be told.
I met up with a friend at the local club and asked him where his wife was. Apparently she had a fall last week getting out of bed and landed on the bedside table which hit her square between the eyes resulting in two black eyes.
The next morning she got up to find that the dog had eaten her dentures. She was understandly pissed off and lashed out kicking the dog. The dog bolted, jumped the front fence, got hit by a car and ended up having a leg amputated.
It's not funny but I couldn't help but laugh.
He finished the story saying "now she has 2 black eyes, no teeth & a 3 legged dog.
Think about this when you think you're having a bad week.
I met up with a friend at the local club and asked him where his wife was. Apparently she had a fall last week getting out of bed and landed on the bedside table which hit her square between the eyes resulting in two black eyes.
The next morning she got up to find that the dog had eaten her dentures. She was understandly pissed off and lashed out kicking the dog. The dog bolted, jumped the front fence, got hit by a car and ended up having a leg amputated.
It's not funny but I couldn't help but laugh.
He finished the story saying "now she has 2 black eyes, no teeth & a 3 legged dog.
Think about this when you think you're having a bad week.
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Moral of the story . Look after your teeth and don't kick your dog .Ok, a little bit late for Friday Funnies but this is a true story that needs to be told.
I met up with a friend at the local club and asked him where his wife was. Apparently she had a fall last week getting out of bed and landed on the bedside table which hit her square between the eyes resulting in two black eyes.
The next morning she got up to find that the dog had eaten her dentures. She was understandly pissed off and lashed out kicking the dog. The dog bolted, jumped the front fence, got hit by a car and ended up having a leg amputated.
It's not funny but I couldn't help but laugh.
He finished the story saying "now she has 2 black eyes, no teeth & a 3 legged dog.
Think about this when you think you're having a bad week
Mute22
Regular
Because I love you all, I used a burner email but haven't received anything.
Is this that famous German sense of humor I hear so much about?
Spikerama
Regular
No, German humour is more like.... *to be read in the best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent...
1. Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he has motor neuron disease and he is confined to a wheelchair.
2. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are migratory animals and instinct drives them to seek more fertile land.
3. How do you make a sausage roll? First, acquire minced pork, breadcrumbs, and seasoning. Then prepare a shortcrust or puff pastry, wrap the seasoned meat inside, and bake in an oven preheated to 200°C for 25 minutes.
*and yes I do realise Arnie is Austrian but I couldn't think of a better accent.
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Frank
Top 20
DRC and Rwanda to sign accord in US on peace pathway, sources say, amid talks on minerals deals
The Democratic Republic of Congo and Rwanda plan to sign an agreement in Washington on Friday to promote peace and economic development, sources told Reuters.www.timeslive.co.za
DRC and Rwanda to sign accord in US on peace pathway, sources say, amid talks on minerals deals
25 April 2025 - 12:15By Reuters
The foreign ministers of the DRC and Rwanda are expected to sign the agreement at a ceremony with US secretary of state Marco Rubio. File photo.
Image: Mark Schiefelbein/Pool via REUTERS
The Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and Rwanda plan to sign an agreement in Washington on Friday to promote peace and economic development, sources told Reuters, part of a diplomatic push to end violence after an advance by Rwandan-backed rebels in eastern DRC.
The agreement raises hopes that the latest cycle of violence in a decades-long conflict rooted in the Rwandan genocide might ease, with the two countries hoping to attract significant US investments in minerals. However, previous ceasefire calls have not produced a sustained break in fighting.
The two countries' foreign ministers are expected to sign the agreement at a ceremony with US secretary of state Marco Rubio. Washington is in talks to invest billions in minerals in the DRC, which has vast deposits of copper, cobalt and lithium, used in mobile phones and cars. Rwanda said this week it was also speaking to Washington about a possible minerals deal.
The DRC has seen a surge in violence after Rwandan-backed M23 rebels launched a major offensive in January that led to the capture of the two largest cities in the east.
The UN and Western governments said Rwanda has provided arms and troops to M23. Rwanda denied backing M23 and said its military has acted in self-defence against the DRC's army and a militia founded by perpetrators of the 1994 genocide.
Qatar and the US have shown an interest in mediating a resolution.
DRC, M23 commit to work towards peace after Doha talks
The Democratic Republic of Congo and Rwanda-backed M23 rebels on Wednesday pledged in statements released after talks in Qatar to work towards peace ...
News
22 hours ago
Qatar in March brokered a surprise sit-down between DRC President Felix Tshisekedi and his Rwandan counterpart Paul Kagame during which the two leaders called for a ceasefire.
Qatar has also hosted talks between the DRC and M23, and this week the two sides issued a statement vowing to work towards peace and professing a "commitment to an immediate cessation of hostilities".
A diplomatic source said the agreement to be signed on Friday aims to foster a "pathway to peace, stability, and integrated economic development" in eastern DRC and "the resumption of normal bilateral relations".
Another source briefed on the agreement said it was intended to build investor confidence.
It amounts to "a declaration of principles, very broad objectives to work towards", one diplomatic source said. "The two sides will finalise the specifics in a few months and then, hopefully, a peace agreement will be signed."
US President Donald Trump's administration has taken a special interest in the DRC since a DRC senator contacted US officials to pitch a minerals-for-security deal this year.
Washington wants greater access to minerals that are exploited predominantly by China and its mining companies. The state department has said the US is interested in a deal, and expects any agreement on minerals to involve a range of private sector partners.
Positioned to support a partnership is prominent Trump backer Erik Prince, who agreed earlier this year to help the DRC secure and tax its vast mineral wealth.
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Spikerama
Regular
There's definitely a very interesting confluence of circumstances occurring right now that's for sure.
You have the first 100 days event coming up for Trump and his approval ratings are looking a bit low. Potentially gonna be lower soon too with predictions from Walmart / Amazon and all the big Super Stores about having empty shelves around July, which is a very hot month for them usually with a bankable spike in spending from all the ra ra around 4th July celebrations. Plus Summer and all. The tariffs thing is gonna put a real downer on that whole parade if you believe the Corporate Heads of these mega chains.
People are also looking at their shopping carts and saying "Well this ain't cheaper than it was in October."
Trump needs a first 100 days win. And not just a foreign policy win but something he can bring back in to transform industries and allow him to do the American made thing.
Then you have the softening of rhetoric on China tariffs and talk of some kind of a "deal"
And this weekend there is the Pope's funeral. Where I see President Tshisekedi will be in attendance. The Rwandan President will not. Nor will Putin or BiBi.
Zelenskyy will as will numerous other global leaders and high ranking diplomats. It will be a very interesting sidebar me thinks, to watch who Trump meets with amidst the backdrop of the last hurrah for Pope Francis.
You have the first 100 days event coming up for Trump and his approval ratings are looking a bit low. Potentially gonna be lower soon too with predictions from Walmart / Amazon and all the big Super Stores about having empty shelves around July, which is a very hot month for them usually with a bankable spike in spending from all the ra ra around 4th July celebrations. Plus Summer and all. The tariffs thing is gonna put a real downer on that whole parade if you believe the Corporate Heads of these mega chains.
People are also looking at their shopping carts and saying "Well this ain't cheaper than it was in October."
Trump needs a first 100 days win. And not just a foreign policy win but something he can bring back in to transform industries and allow him to do the American made thing.
Then you have the softening of rhetoric on China tariffs and talk of some kind of a "deal"
And this weekend there is the Pope's funeral. Where I see President Tshisekedi will be in attendance. The Rwandan President will not. Nor will Putin or BiBi.
Zelenskyy will as will numerous other global leaders and high ranking diplomats. It will be a very interesting sidebar me thinks, to watch who Trump meets with amidst the backdrop of the last hurrah for Pope Francis.
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Bin59
Regular
“It will be a very interesting sidebar me thinks, to watch who Trump meets with amidst the backdrop of the last hurrah for Pope Francis.”
Trump met with some leaders before the funeral started, maybe he’ll meet with Felix afterwards.
Brilliant documentary, albeit 14 years old, on working with the pushy, racist Chinese and the languid, hapless Congolese. And the weirdest soundtrack - surprised Kinky Friedman didn't appear - which somehow just works. I need a drink lol.
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Almost made me feel sorry for the Chinese... how defeating doing business with a population so entrenched with dishonesty, theft and laziness. Wish I'd seen that doco before
Samus
Top 20
Almost made me feel sorry for the Chinese... how defeating doing business with a population so entrenched with dishonesty, theft and laziness. Wish I'd seen that doco before
Retrobyte
Hates a beer
A German goes to see the doctor and tells the doctor he has a bad headache. The doctor then asks him "which corner is it in?"
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